More men need to talk about their mental health. Having a conversation can really make a positive difference, but first men need to feel comfortable – and they don’t always find it so easy. Fortunately, more men are opening up, but we all need to do more to make those potentially life changing conversations easier to have.
We have written this to help more men find the time to talk – whether you feel you need help and want to reach out, or perhaps you are a line manager or colleague wanting to support someone struggling.
Why is it important to talk about mental health
Many men suffer in silence with their mental health. They may want to reach out but, due to gender stereotypes of what masculinity should be, such as appearing strong, independent or stoic, many men feel isolated and alone. And yet there are so many who want to help – from friends, colleagues and partners.
Sadly, suffering in silence can often lead to destructive coping mechanisms including alcohol or drug abuse as well as self-harm and even suicide. This is reflected in data, with over three quarters (76%) of suicides in the UK being men and only 36% of talking therapies administered by the NHS going to men. Men are also more than twice as likely to develop a substance addiction than women.
Other aspects of people’s identities can often hinder getting help. Research shows that black men are more likely to conceal their mental health struggles and are more likely to be sectioned under the mental health act due to systemic racism. LGBTQ men, Asian men and men with disabilities also face systemic, cultural and social barriers when trying to access mental health support.
Fortunately, there are now national and local organisations that specialise in helping men with their mental health and can often give more tailored assistance. We’ve put a list together at the end of this article.
If you think someone you know may be struggling:
If you have concerns about someone you know, here’s some small steps you could take:
- Creating an opportunity for them to talk without judgement or feeling rushed is key, this could be a coffee in the park or a quiet chat in the pub.
- Empathise with them, do not judge or correct and pay attention to key words or phrases, repeat these occasionally to show you are listening.
- Sometimes just a quick ‘how are you doing?’ Or even ‘what’s up?’ Can open up a chat.
For many men this can make a big difference to how they cope with low mood and anxiety. It can also help them see that there is someone to talk to without getting judged or perceived as ‘weak’.
Some men can struggle to reach out to people that are close and can often find it easier to talk to a stranger, this could be telephone counselling or helplines such as MIND or the Samaritans. If you are a line manager, there may be a confidential counselling service offered by your employer. Simply passing on the details can be a vital starting point.
Spotting the warning signs
If you think they may be having thoughts of self-harm or suicide there are several warning signs to look out for. These can include:
- Suddenly becoming anxious or irritable
- Abnormal sleep patterns
- Avoiding social contact, work or studies
- Becoming more confrontational
- Decreasing self-care, showering or brushing teeth for example
If you need to reach out…
If you are feeling like you want to talk, don’t be nervous, there are many people who can help. Try to identify people that you feel you can trust such as friends, relatives or co-workers, as well as places you feel safe.
Finding a community of people with things in common can often provide a safe place to talk about your mental health. Many of these are designed with this purpose in mind such as Men’s Sheds. These organisations promote working on projects or activities to combat isolation and help men talk about their mental health.
You may not realise it but there are ‘triggers’ such as places, music, or even people that may make you feel worse. If you are already struggling, identifying these triggers will enable you to plan to avoid them when possible. It can also help to tell people close to you so they can be aware and help you to avoid them.
Conclusion
It’s time to talk about men’s mental health: because the power of conversation has the potential to be a power for good. Many of us have mental health issues from time to time and there’s no shame in that – or reason why men should feel they need to suffer in silence. By feeling more confident in reaching out, or spotting the signs and offering to help, we can end the stigma and make those conversations easier to have.
Organisations that can help men talk about their mental health:
Mental Health UK: https://mentalhealth-uk.org/mens-mental-health/
Andy’s Man’s Club: https://andysmanclub.co.uk/
Men Who Talk: https://menwhotalk.org/
Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/
MIND: https://www.mind.org.uk/